'Whom do you despise?' he asked.

'Oh, the other children in the schoolroom because I know that if I was allowed to I could work much faster than them. The boys are really slow, especially at French, but of course the lessons are meant for them so -we go at their pace. I gallop ahead and then spend the extra time jeering at them inside myself. And then there's Susannah. I'm always finding fault with her:

When he looked up at last his smiling eyes were less than a yard from her own. 'You're Isabel, aren't you, daughter of Thomasina?'

Was he wondering how Thomasina could have produced such a flawed child? 'Yes, I am:

'Well, Isabel, which are my weak spots?'

'Oh, not you.I don't criticize you: What had happened to confession? Normally an uninterested little priest gabbled absolution and glanced impatiently at the door. 'I really mean it, Father. I hate myself. I wish I could shut down my thoughts or tear them out. Why can't I make my mind do what I want it to? I'd much rather not question everything I'm taught all the time. I want to be peaceful and perfect:

There was a long pause. She held her breath under his steady gaze. 'Give me your hand, Isabel. Listen to what I have to say. You should pray to be like Christ and of course you should attend more to your own failings than those of others. But never pray not to have a good mind. Your intellect is precious. Remember, all of you is needed for God's service, body, mind and soul. He wants hard-thinking, strong people to do His work. He needs girls like you in His church, Isabel. '

'My tutor says I'm too sharp:

'I'm not your tutor, Isabel. I'm telling you that your gifts are God-given:

'What must I do?'

'He has marked you out. You, Isabel.' She saw herself through his eyes, little Isabel with the white forehead and fair hair hooked back under a clean cap. Isabel the chosen. 'I think He wants you, Isabel, and Oakshott is your testing ground. You have also the gifts of good birth, wealth and physical beauty. Some girls would throw these qualities away on marriage. But not perhaps Isabel.'

She was ready to take flight into his grey eyes but her head remembered to hold back one moment more. 'I am to marry, though. My husband will be Francis Bourne, a distant cousin. My father has always wished it:

'Your father is one authority. God is another. A priest can only speak for God:

Now Isabel saw herself dressed in black garments, stepping forward into the single ray of light shining in a dark cell. 'You mean I must be a nun:

'You sound disappointed: He let go her hand and her fingers felt lonely. 'Women in religion can do great things. Have you heard about St Teresa of Avila? What a witness to God's word, a mystic, an intellectual and a reformer. She never forgot that we must be poor and rejected before we can come to Christ. She gave up everything, even her reputation:

'I would rather be you, travelling about, ministering to people: Really, Isabel, you push him too far. Don't you want him to take you seriously?

'You'd rather be me. Little girl, I'm not worthy of such a wish:

'I mean it: She was trying to pull him back from the cold, distant place he now saw. She could almost hear the abrupt closing of screens around his hidden self. Straightening up he held his hand stiffly for the penance and absolution which he intoned without feeling. Then he sank his head back in his hand and she knew she should leave.